How to Become a Dream Couple…And the Three Loves Theory
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Relationships come in all shapes and sizes. Some relationships can be full of fun and some can be full of drama. But what about those rare, balanced relationships that are real.
Depending on where you are in your dating life or if you are married, you may have experienced a wide range of relationships because let’s face it, no 2 are the same, even if you have a type. So how do we take those fun relationships and give them substance, or those intense relationships and give them fun?
I’ve had my share of all of the above and while you shouldn’t need to force anything in a relationship, we all know they take work! But that work should be something you can enjoy while improving your partnership. I want to share some of the best things I have learned in my relationship journey, ultimately leading to a marriage that (at least in my opinion) is goalsss!
In this blog post, I’m sharing some ways I’ve found to be a valuable method to becoming a dream couple! I’ll be covering:
• How I found my ‘dream couple’ love
• The 3 Loves Theory, and all that you can learn from it
If you are sick of the games or maybe just feel like there’s something more you need out of your relationship, keep reading! It’s time to become a dream couple!
How I found my ‘dream couple’ love
I’ve had my share of ups and downs and like many, it started at a young age. Those teenage years, you are so free and can fall so hard, so easily that often it’s with the wrong person. For me, that happened and love is so blind it took 2 years to see that while it was fun and exciting and passionate, it was also toxic, unhealthy, and at times emotionally abusive.
My baby boy and a new lease on life and love are the only good things that came out of that relationship, so there can be no regrets. I took so much out of that experience and for a while really embraced my independence but I was still young and too naive. Some time later I fell in love again, and again learned a lot of tough life lessons. It was a much more lengthy and toxic relationship but I continued to take away something from the experience (including my other son <3).
After that and years of dating on and off with no one serious, I found myself longing for that dream relationship. Someone that could actually be my partner in life, best friend, and healthy love! I also was pretty bitter and simultaneously thought I gave up on love and dating. So I set boundaries. Hard ones. I didn’t care if I was scaring off everyone because that meant they were not worth my time. I knew what I wanted, I knew I wasn’t going to play a single game, and I was ok with the prospect of single forever if that’s what resulted.
But that’s not what resulted…
Instead, knowing what I wanted and refusing to compromise on that picked off the guys that were wasting my time. The guys that wanted to come over instead of taking me on a date. The guys that played games and had no intention of anything more. Why was I ever letting someone in my life like that?!
The path was completely open for the exact person I dreamed of. I stuck to my boundaries and if we are being honest, I didn’t make things easy for him. But I refused to budge on my needs. Our first date was the most fun I had ever had on a date. I wasn’t trying to be someone I wasn’t or hide my insecurities; and neither was he. The 2 of us just being ourselves, knowing what we wanted and what we were looking for, brought 2 best friends together. That friendship moved at the best pace in the right direction, eventually finding ourselves in a family (with our last, a daughter <3).
Life changed forever in the best way. The way I had always dreamed. Over the years, we have grown. Not every day is perfect, but we are both dedicated to a life of happiness with the values that are important to us. We find new ways of learning things about each other and always make sure to keep things fun and do them together.
Here are some of the things I’ve learned in my journey finding my dream love and continuing to build it in the best way possible!
The 3 Loves Theory
Have you heard of The 3 Loves Theory?
In this theory, we fall in love 3 times in our lifetime, each time teaching us something important. A lesson that we can use in our next relationship. When I found this a few years ago, I wished a much younger me would have stumbled upon it. I felt like it gave me so many answers that I always just took the blame for. Like “I just make poor decisions” or “I was young”. This theory gives us hope but it also can give us some closure. It’s so important to know and understand that not all love is forever love and even if it was bad for you, maybe it needed to happen.
So here’s The 3 Love Theory:
The First Love: This love often happens when you are young. It’s passionate and exciting but you eventually grow apart, and it ends over something silly. It was love for what you knew it to be at the time.
The Second Love: The hard one. This love hurts and teaches us lessons to make us stronger. This love comes with emotional hardships and drama. We learn what we love about love and what we don’t know about love.
The Third Love: The blindside. This creeps up on you. This love breaks through any walls. You care about this person without trying. You are completely open with this. This is true love.
Whether you believe this theory or not, you have to admit, it hits close to home. Your story may look a little different but the point of this theory is that you learned from each love. You have to experience different kinds of love to learn what true love really feels and looks like. No love or relationship grows strong without work, even if you are in that powerful “Third Love”. So find ways to continue to build and grow stronger, not just when things are starting to fall apart. The time to do the work is when you are happy and connected. Try a fun couples project or game. Something that helps you grow as a couple without it feeling like work!
One of the most important things that any of your relationships should teach you is that while they all may be work, there’s also value in knowing when it’s just not right. I believe that people come into outlives for a reason, but that reason doesn’t always mean they are lifers. The lesson learning relationships, which are the hardest are also some of the most important. Embrace them!
If you find yourself looking for more intimacy in your relationship instead and need to find a way to have more of those conversations that truly connect you, {THE AND} is an incredible and affordable way to do this. Fun and adventure are not usually where I struggle but bringing up those intimate subjects and truly connecting through those conversations can be challenging. {THE AND} was a game changer for me! Click here to check out the Couples Edition (they have a version for just about any kind of relationship you can think of!)
If you want some fun and meaningful ways to build a stronger connection with your significant other and really build on your relationship and friendship, check out The Adventure Challenge Couples Edition! Not only are these fun and bring some romantic spontaneity into your relationship, they also spark conversations that will make you grow closer as a couple. Click here!
Once I found myself in a healthy relationship, the one that I am supposed to have, the dream relationship, it changed everything. It changed how I look at life and how I look at myself. Not because I’m with someone good but because that person challenges me to be better every day. I’m growing in the right direction and with my partner in life and all things. Learning more about relationships and as a whole has empowered me to expand my focus to my friendships and my family as well. And to do that together with my person!
I want this for you, too! If you’re tired of these meaningless relationships or trying to build connections and being unsuccessful, I urge you to try something new and different and best of all, proven that it works! So I guess the only question left here is, how much do you want to build those connections and become a dream couple? Click here if you’re ready for that!
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